You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My balls are so social today.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
