real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
