I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
