I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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