my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
