You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
