I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
