before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
