I hate your face
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Randomize
