I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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