Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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