She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
