Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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