Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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