Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
