First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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