omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
someone get that fucking seahorse.
she looked like the before picture.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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