I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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