I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
