You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
