And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
