If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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