I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You are the jesus of drinking
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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