Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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