ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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