told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
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