I don't usually arrange sex via text message
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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