Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
