what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
