i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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