I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
