I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
