Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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