I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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