my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
