she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
