genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
