wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
