Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
