what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Girls should come with a carfax report
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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