no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
