DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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