I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
