youre lurking in front of me
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
