do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
