Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
