I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
