eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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