Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
