You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize