he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dignity is for republicans.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ladies don't puke and tell
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
