hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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