Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
