Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sorry my hands just texted you
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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