i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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