She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
