What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
