I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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