i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
