is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
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