The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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